No More Pain
No more pain. No more panic. No more what-ifs. My tang-tasting poison is sitting on the door shelf of the fridge and i haven't touched it in over 72 hours. I agree, 1mg isn't the highest dose and I'm not quitting cold turkey, but this is a HUGE step. I took my dose Saturday morning, not planning anything in particular. On Sunday, i kept myself busy with chores, it being my day off work. By 8pm, I realized that i hadn't taken my dose... and that i felt really good... better than normal. I decided there that i would leave it in the fridge and see how the night continued. I woke up at 8am and i didn't lose a wink of sleep from insomnia or random muscle spasms. By noon Monday, i was still rawkin' an awesome feeling and i went with it. If i wanted to continue my methadone, Monday was the day that i would have to pick up my carrys at the pharmacy. I did a lot of running around, getting things done before work on Tuesday. 10pm Monday night and not a migraine in sight, despite the rainy conditions. I was most worried about the metro ride to work on Tuesday morning cuz when I'm bored, i seem to 'feel' like I'm withdrawling and i yawn and i yawn until it feels like my eyes are bleeding. Admittedly, i yawned the whole ride, but i took it as sleepiness and not withdrawl. I had two appointments at work and although i started to get a small headache around noon, i think it was my missing breakfast.
So, its Tuesday night... 9pm. I think I'm clean. Holy shit. I'm clean. C-L-E-A-N. This is a HUGE deal. I feel so free'd. I understand that I'll always be an addict, just not to dope. Not again, not ever. Wow.
RIP MJ.
AWESOME.
Fly on sweet angel, fly on!
Hear their stories, see their world and then Taste Your Freedom.
Its post's like this that help people in thier addictions and to see clearly that there is a way out...Good on Ya Robyn.Im very happy for you and for the rest of your new LIfe...Blessings..JH
Take the risk and you have free yourself...if only for a short time. If have proven to yourself you can do it. That is exactly who you need to keep doing for. You must remember this feeling of what a natural high is even in your darkest hour, darkest hours. Remember that it is better to shoot with a camera then it is with a needle, it is better to consume with your eyes then it is alcohol, that it is better to be able to walk away then to be carried away and that your arms are meant for lovin and holding on to the ones you love and accept their love.
Remember that people from HN will always be around for more stories like yours.
Remember one day at a day, one momoment at a time that is all you need until you find your own right path.
I am happy for you!
You are a inspiration for many on the site!!!!!
Holy shit Robyn!!!
you did it!
that's awesome.
it's so good to hear of friends who've made positive change in their lives (ca fait changement...)
Keep it up, don't give up...
-a
Power is given only to those who dare to lower themselves and pick it up. -Doestoeivsky
NEVER GIVE UP
Power is given only to those who dare to lower themselves and pick it up. -Doestoeivsky
Fuck sweet man!!! x0x
Mmm...
it IS a big deal, amazing! stay strong focussed and determined. i really like how you looked at what some might consider withdrawl and choose to reframe it as, sleepiness, hungar...great perspective.
Thanks for this positive - and realistic - perspective, Robyn.