Sudden Change of Plans
Well, things didn't happen the way I wanted them too. I was taken away from Maria and am now in a foster-care group home in Orlando. Maria still has Adela and Star too. I miss them so much, her included. I am picked on by the other kids, pounded by my therapist, and having my future decided on by people I don't even know. They say that I can go back to Maria after they are sure I am ok and mentally stable. What is that? the therapist thinks I am insecure and need guidance. Insecurity is when I don't know who I am. I know exactly who I am. I'm Anna Hulden! I don't know who this therapist thinks I thnk I am. And guidance? I've never had that. I've raised myself practically my entire life, now all the sudden they care that I haven't had some around to "guide" me? I know what I want, I don't need a map to figure that out. They've taken away my dog, my cat, my friend, my life, and my independence. What else do they want? Me? Cause I am always going to be Anna Hulden, A teenage street rat, Street Spirit. They can't take that away. I just want to go home, back to Maria. I have only set foot in the new house once! then, some social worker appeared and said that I needed to leave now. I have a paper bag with some jeans and a few shirts in it and my journal that Maria bought me. I left my bag and stuff that I have had with me in the streets all my life with her. I'm tired of being outcasted by these kids, cause I don't know who Beyoncay is,or Jonny Dep. I don't need actors and rappers to survive. I have gone without them longer than they could even dream of. I just need to get out of here. This is not the place for me.
Thanks for listening to my ranting.
Anna
i know I also messaged ya, but you may need guidance. Maybe this Maria girl is that. They won't give her a chance, which is what makes me angry. If she is willing to help you, then you don't have to be a street rat forever. No one should be. There is always a hand out for you to grab to pull yourself up. Try to do what they want just to make them back off. Show them this Maria girl is a good person for you. That's what I did when I called my dad on his bday when I was on the streets. He MADE me stay at his house that night, and refused to let the cops take me as he still had joint custody with my mom. He was still a legal guardian.
Sure Johnny Depp is a sexy human being, but you actually don't need to know who he is. If you can find some music you relate to, it will help. Block out the bullshit with loud music. I have always done that and it helps. One day you may find that therapist who will listen and understand. There is this "okay" place here in Calgary called Hull Homes. They have so many different programs and a school. If you can talk to your social worker, tell him/her about it. See if you can get sent here for the help. I know its another country, another world basically. But here its not quite as bad. Many of the people who watched out for me were crack heads... they knew I was 14 and did what they could to help me.