So confused.....
I am so confused right now. I just got a serious wake up call about my pregnancy on another site, and can't stop worrying. I didn't know I could bleed to death, or it would be painful, or how much the hospital bill would be. I'm not ready to be a single mother raising her baby on the streets, but if I go to a shelter or teen home, it will only be a temporary fix before I am put into social services... I hate all of this not knowing. Plus, I just fell down the stairs yesterday leaving the library, and I don't know if you want to know this but there was some wierd looking thing in my pants when I woke up (it had knocked me out). Did I just have a miscarriage?! Is the baby okay? I hope so! I'm almost broken down to tears thinking about all of this, and I haven't cried since my mom passed away. I'm so worried that I hurt the baby, I'm trying to avoid even thinking about it.... There is a doctor in town who says he will look at me if I do some work for him... My appoinment is tomorrow. Let's hope for the best. I got more money singing today, almost 10 bucks! Sorry, I don't mean to jump from subject to subject, I'm just trying to keep my mind off of my pregnancy. Another forum I am on, Homeless Forums (the address is on my page, is starting to not believe me. Like I can make up all of this. They said my story sounded too "Hollywood". I'm kinda pissed off, but also sad. Why don't people believe me? I thought I made friends on there, and all the sudden they act like I am some spoiled brat sitting in a comfy chair typing this at home. I wish I could be. The hunger and pain and lonliness that I have felt all my life isn't fake. The rains and wind and snow that have been my blanket at night all my life aren't fake. And the rapes and beatings and fear I have lived with all my life are not fake! I have scars to prove it. I don't know how they can believe that. Well, anyways. I guess I have ranted enough. Thanks everyone.
I'm sorry that you're in so much trouble. I hope the doctor will help you.... Let us know the results of that visit.
first off, i am worried about you.
i dont know too much about how the system(s) work in the states but this seems fucked up to me. you have to do work for a doctor in order to be seen? are there not any free clinics you could go to?
i get not wanting to be in the care of the state or going into social services, but is seems like you need a break from the streets so you can get your self sorted out, especially medically. i would suggest you hook in with some type of service even if it is just till you can get healthy and figure out what you want to do.
based on my experience, the way things are going for you right now you are going to end up somewhere you dont want (hosptal, jail...) if you dont take some action to take care of yourself. make it your choice and select a service that is willing to help you, on your terms. reach out to someone who cares for you, a worker, a safe friend or family memeber, someone. because this is way too much shit for one person to deal with on their own. especially when you are young, not because you cant take care of yourself or are not strong, but because being young means you dont get the same access to support like welfare or going to a shelter without the fear of being taken into care. you really need to reach out.
again, i dont know the system there, but here we have safe houses, shelters, underage income assistance (welfare) and something called independent living which is like welfare (but better) for young people. find out what is available to you, find someone to advocate for you, and be safe.
I lost the baby. I have cried so much that my eyes feel like they will fall out of my head. I have looked into organizations. None of them seem right for me, and I don't feel like traveling much right now. I'm going to take it easy and then figure out what to do. The woman I work for at the bakery said I could stay there for a while. So I going to do that. She is pretty nice. I'm going there tonight. Thanks for everything. I'll check back later. =)
My Prayers out to you and your lost..Please keep in touch with us here at H/N with your travels.There is lots of support and a good network of people here for you...All my Relation's....J>H
Sounds like you've found a temporary solution. I agree with Janelle, you've got to rest and take care of yourself. Build STRENGTH: try and get something good to eat, and make sure you can sleep well in the next little while. It's back to basics for you lady, eat & sleep!!! Make sure you feel safe. If there is anyone close by you feel conforable reaching out to then please do, it is always easier to face periods of loss when you feel supported and cared for. Hopefully we can provide you with some of that through the site; but we're a little far... What is there around you? What is it that you are looking for in an organization?
Please keep touching base here, and stay well;)
anya
Power is given only to those who dare to lower themselves and pick it up.
In our lives, we suffer a lot.. We walk through on several trials, that causes us to give up. Sometimes we think life is so unfair because of the hindrance we've been through. We struggle a lot to survive, but when things went wrong and everything is gone, we find someone to blame on and ask "why me?"..But things are just not constant, things may come and go, if not today, tommorrow, or never. But we need to value things that comes along our way, looking back the past may serve as our guidance to a new and better path forward..
“Every problem has a gift inside. We seek problems because we want their gifts.”
http://www.thankgodforebooks.com/index.php?option=com_sobi2&sobi2Task=sobi2Details&catid=0&sobi2Id=2
http://www.thankgodforebooks.com/homeless.html