Seeking advice please help

Hi Shennan - I wanted to let you know that HN has a page on Facebook... some people have started to comment on your post. Click here to read them.

hi s.c

haven't heard from you in a while. glad to see you reaching out to help your friend. here's the deal, you need to tell someone. i know this sucks as it might damage your friendship, but at the end of the day you need to do what is best for your friend, you need to make sure she is safe.

if you have done any research on cutting you will find alot of information, some will say the person wants to kill themselves, some will say it is a way to release pain and that cutting is not linked to wanting to commit suicide.

but...you don't get to choose which one this is.

even if your friend is expressing pain or emotion and has no intent on killing herself, she might make a mistake, it might go to far and she could end up in serious trouble, and even end up accidently killing herself.

my suggestion would be to encourage her to talk to someone, and offer to go with her for support. if she refuses you have a responsibility to make sure someone else knows who can offer help. you have to think, you know for a reason, she let you know for a reason.

you need to act on this.

i think you mentioned a while back that you have a counsellor? if so this would be a good person to speak with for some support.

Giving advice on the internet in situations like this, where the reader knows only a tiny fraction of the entire circumstance, is a very dangerous business.
In doing so, one must keep to wide generalities...

Advice like this is much better given in person (or on the phone), where there can be instant feedback on both parts (and where, preferably, the person giving advice knows much more about the dynamics and intricacies of the particular circumstance than we know - things like the dynamic/relationship between the two principle people involved, the 'cutter's background, etc.)

I also think that we should not be assuming that the counselor in question is wonderful. He/she may well be very competent, trustworthy, and wonderful. Or he/she may not know what he/she is doing.
Giving advice to tell a counselor is assuming that the counselor will then do the right thing (whatever that may be) - and that is not an assumption any of us are qualified to make, as we don't know the counselor.
We must realize that not all counselors (or social workers, or shrinks, or police officers, etc., etc.) are good simply because they hold that position. It's certainly not automatic that they are all good, qualified, caring, and competent.
Some are good, and some are not.
The good ones can help a great deal. And the bad ones can hurt a great deal.

hi steve, i agree with you about giving advise on the internet, you make a good point and face to face is always better, this is why i recommended talking to someone in her community that can be of assistance.

whether it is the counselor or another person in a position to provide help makes little difference, what does is that this is not kept secret and that help is available if it is needed.

Best advice I can give is to help her out and be there for her. Keep an eye on her. If it gets bad, like more than just "attention seeking chicken scratch" TELL SOMEONE. If you are in school, go tell a teacher or counselor.

Cutting releases endorphins which excited the body and rid it of pain of all kinds.

It is very difficult to help a cutter, especially if you try frantically.

which frend

I was a cutter since I was 12 years old. I did it to relese emotional pain. It works like a drug, I can easily say it seemed to do the same thing for me as crystal meth did although crystal meth lasted a lot longer. It started off as chicken scratch then when I was about 20 I hit a vein, I needed 10 stiches and have a gastely scar I constintly am being asked about and have lost feeling in a good chunk of that arm. I have not cut for 2 years give or take a month or so but I do get urges to. It is something that can not be cured 100% kind of like drug addiction. Cutting is an addiction. Have you tried talking to your friend one on one? She probably feels shame and guilt for doing it, and wan'ts help. Mabe you can get her to agree to councelling. You can often find pamphlets and info on cutting at mental health places, perhaps the first thing to do would be to collect this and privately present them to your friend. Tell her your worries, inform her were she can seek help. Offer to go with her. Be there to support her if she chooses to get help. If she does not perhaps then is time to seek help for her, it will probably make her angry with you because of the shame involved in cutting, but at least she will not accidentally kill herself one day.

thanks a lot that really helps.
I have left to find myself if I comeback before I return keep me here.
Shennan

thats wat i feel it is
i feel it is an addiction
im scared i will accidently hit a vein
im scared for me and you
i dont want to do it but i cant stop
it helps with anger and emotions but
i dont want to do it anymore
i love u and need ur help

You need an outlit to vent your emotions.
Poetry, art, activism.
Something to be passionate about and relese the deep feelings within yourself. Someone to talk to wouldnt hurt either, you may message me anytime.

hey faith she is right you need to trust someone that can be there in an moments notice see if you can talk to Mrs. Grahm at school she is sooo sweet and really helped me and has a background with these things. Monday go talk to her tell her I sent you OK.
I have left to find myself if I comeback before I return keep me here.
Shennan