Is playing the "man's" silly beaucratic games for service more or less the same for mental illness and

I'm currently going to play the man's silly games. In the words of "conery" to "Trebec" (SNL Jeapordy skits). "I'll play your game you rogue". As I suffer from some undisclosed mental illness (namely, because when I go in, like a Frigging car, everything is "fine" but when I get it home, the Tranny Explodes, the fuel pump breaks down, and the car resembles some "tora tora tora" plane from that Peral Harbor movie, before it blows up. (aka the car smokes catches on fire). Such is with mental illness.

I've self medicated with weed (yea I know I'm a pussy), and booze to the point, I even attacked two young Calgarian officers fantasizing that they were Marines, and I was some young Kamakazi pilot (I had LOTs of Saki that night and dope). That was my lowest point, nooo actually waking up at the Foothills, with a big thumb bruise (Big security guard)in ER Calgary University hospital. While remembering that I caused a rukus, (if trying to start a "political" demonstration is a a riot). When you're dumb an 21, and think this is Cool. This is scary, there are people geniune people in the ER, and you're not really making their own troubles any better.

Since then I've shided away from Booze. (mainly because I do really retarded things, and being mentally ill and booze doesn't mix). And it takes ALOT to get me to the point of drinking. ALOT, I'm once of those once in a blue moon, allergic to booze types of people.

But lately, my brain and controls are slipping. Mental illness does this. While some fat so Primier who smells like Flowers just poo poo our condition, to say tut tut get better. Grow some balls, and pull yourself up get a job (basically the same bullshit I've said on my other posts here). Now I realise my angry outbursts are just manifestation of the black hell breaking out. I've managed to control this for the better part of 10 years. And Ralph Kline, Fuck you! you're the drunk, I controlled myself, because I WANT TO GET BETTER. And you close all the nut houses? Did you think that mentally ill people with Autism, are joking? There's a REASON why we drink to make the hell go away.

So tomorrow I get to go and play these stupid games this stupid bloody "Pinball Wizard" of the Alberta health care system. For those who are homeless, jobless, AND have a mentall illness. You guys have Mother F balls man.

I'm just a pussy in a old house, that's slowly disolving like my brain is. Never judge a man unless you walk in their shoes. I walked maybe 1/3 of the mile (as some homeless still have problem of no home, and no job, AND mental illness, so 3 parts). I only have the balls to walk only 1 mile.

Fuck you Alberta and your billions of dollars in surpluses, your rich trades persons trucks, and Goatees. Trades persons, fuck off you have so much money, and you abuse booze, because you young goateed welders want to be party animals. While the rest of us, one second of being healthy, functioning (again I'm a crazy jerk)....

Gahhhhhhhhasghsaasgv
af js iopfhasiopfe rwajp
3120 5t93weds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Those educated idiots better send me on my proper way for treatment. Or I'm seriously going to reevaluate my prohibitionist attitudes to legal "meds". (booze). I can see why my Father found this appealing.

No I can't must stay focused. Besides I hate cleaning up my own puke in the morning, with a hangover.

Anyways, sorry for the swearing. Have family members trying to poke in my head again.

But, try being coloured, stupid-smart,

ok it's like this.... When Jonny Deip said "There he goes, one of God's high powered mutants.. not even considered for mass production (because I fucking suck at life), and two weird to die". (Fucking great god. This means I can't die, and have to be a ugly super mutant.. you know what God. I know personally you're having a good time with this, look at little SK, he's a tiny little guy, let's pull some wires here and there to see what he does). Well I'll tell you what happens god. THIS is what happens. Stupid little peers surround you at a fence cornered like a rat. Or worse yet, you go through life, constantly having your head resemble Chernobyle bloody power plant (BEFORE it blew up, micro seconds). You created these little demonic little bastards, JUST TO torment me didn't you God.

Since I have toked on meth before (because my heartless coworkers wanted to satisfy their perverted scientific curiosity to see what happens when a ADHD fucktard like myself, would react to a stimulant" (see Chernobyle rant above). Like a "fun and wild crazy guy". and despreatly needing the approval for friends. I go for it.. It tastes like inhailer or even Cough syrup (those white kind you use for allergies).

So Imagine feeling naturally like this during your "highs" with Bi Polar, but it doesn't stop or evaporate in 3 days, (my little "crystal" experiment kept me up for 3 days). Well you have the option of sleeping when you're tired, but during manic phases, you're like this. THEN COMES the crash. BUT THE CRASH like economy crash wall street crash or what ever is going on now. Can last up to 6 months, years, a few days.

Then you rev up the Hemi's engines, again. Rrrr rrrrrrr rrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Your mind grows like Biff Tanan's Ford. (Back to the Future), like an angry bull bearing down on Marty in the tunnel.

needless to say doing this to a car, tends to ruin it, shorten it's lifespan. This is the nature of Shower King psychosis.

And when you try to go get help. Because people, other "drivers on the Deerfoot", are honking at you, kindly motherly ladies, shout very very very, screechy ephitetes at you, because they're too stupid to do basic math and minus 3-1 (there are 3 lanes now for the Deerfoot, since I occupy one with my fatso mobile (when I had a car), 3-1=2 (there are TWO free lanes). There's no need to flash your light like Discotheque and give me a seizure, where I crash both cars like on Ricky bobby, NASCAR wil Freill movie). (honestly the proper prodecure, is flash that little orange rectangular signal light, to indicate left or right, SHOULDER CHECK, when clear transitive to another lane. and then pass me). I use this freeway metaphore, to explain, how, the brain is like a slow driving car, or a broken down car, and other impatient people, in life, at work....

Like honestly you high and rightous pious Calgarian suburbianites (and I live in one myself), kiss their darling children with that mouth? Well that would explain why their children are such juviniel little S's It's not their fault, they just have kiss marks made of their parent's potty mouth.

I don't know what I'm saying.

good night....

ps I'm going to play Alberta health's games, and they're going to have fun breaking my balls again.

So my full respect to the homeless who have these issues too, of being given the run arounds. Having a crash a mental break down cognitive crash feels like you're permafried, and having a burn out with weed, or a bad hangover. But God in his loving lovingness has made this all natural. I love you God.

PS

Ever wanted to go into the head of a crazy person.............