Recipe for Destruction and Captain Jack Obama
I know that south of the border, in the corridors of power, we are generally used to a scene from the Beverly Hillbillies. A lot of moonshine, "Yee-Ha's!" and tobacco chewin'.
Today that all changes.
Why you ask?
Today's election results affect us all. Canadians included. Maybe even more than our own federal election that basically cost us millions of dollars for a Status quo.
The American policies that are decided on in the next couple of months or if you are Barack Obama, the next couple of days - will heavily affect Canadian policy. As the saying goes... "As goes the United States so goes Canada".
So, how does this break down?
Well, a little bit about our 2 lovely candidates and their even lovelier V.P.s...
1) Senator John McCain - War hero, has so much shrapnel in him that he can't get through security checks at Abbotsford Airport. He is 71 going on 90. Generally he is what you call a "moderate". He is isn't your typical Republican. He has, however, been a staunch Bush supporter and voted on Bush devised bills 90% of the time. In the words of his rival, Barack Obama "That means he was a maverick 10% of the time." Having said that, he actually is a good guy who wants to steer the country back on track, but has to be careful not to p.o. his gun-toting, tabacky chewing fellow party members. Not going to happen. They love shooting at defenseless deer from helicopters, tabacky and financial irresponsibility too much to stop now.
2) Barack Obama - Young, charming and has the gift of gab that we haven't seen since JFK and Martin Luther King. My one concern with him, is that I hope he doesn't share the same fate. If he does become the incumbent... Is America ready for a black president? I think they are, but we all know that there is grumbling and tabacky spitting going on in the deep south and bible belt. They are also quite happy with this "The right to bear arms" or in Robin William's words "The right to arm bears" thing.
Barack is forward thinking and wants things like universal health care, housing, tax relief for anyone making less than $250,000 dollars, domestic energy plans and a united America. Gasp! That would make it the... errrr... United States. Haven't seen that before. To quote another dude that had it figured out, when asked if he believed in Western Democracy "Democracy is a great institution and, therefore, it is liable to be greatly abused." - M Gandhi
The greatest challenge facing Barack is righting the sinking ship that has been "abused" so much for the last 8 years. I am not sure that even Captain Jack Sparrow would be able to right the S.S. U.S.A. right now. Having said that, he has the tools and actually thinks outside of the box.
3) Senator Joe Biden (VP Candidate for BO)
Kinda like Jean Chretien (like him or not). Has held about every major senate seat in congress and knows more about foreign policy than anyone in the White House. Lost his wife and child in a car accident just before he was sworn in as senator and generally is the enemy of the teleprompter. He likes to digress during speeches and thus, confuse everyone... including himself.
4) Sarah Palin (VP Candidate for JM) - "I can see Russia from my house!" Nuff said...
Let's face it... The American economy is a mess. With it, so is the Canadian economy. How did this happen? Well it really an easy recipe for financial disaster. In Bill Clinton's words - "Bush Math".
Financial Disaster Recipe #1 - Bush Math
1) Go after the wrong dictator in the wrong country for the atrocities of another.
Kill the dictator in a very public display and then make sure you have no idea on how to solve the extremist, fundamentalism that you have now just created from the void of said dictator. Stir in a whole lotta of American casualties and make sure to spend at least a billion dollars a month of your own money in a country who is now running a surplus.
2) Let your financial institutions do whatever they want.
No checks and balances. If Bobo the "Wonder Chimp" is elected by the board to run Fanny Mae Mortgage Lenders , then so be it. Make sure that you hit up the American population with huge loans to cover homes they can't afford, to give the illusion of American growth and at the first sign of trouble...if you are on the board at Fanny Mae - retire and parachute to safety with that huge pension you have paid yourself and let Bobo take the hit. Oh yeah... foreclose on as many homes as possible, put people on the street and let Fanny get it in the Fanny.
3) Spend 700 billion dollars to keep mortgage institutions afloat.
Mix well and throw your hands up, say some irrelevant remarks about your terms in office, blame someone else and see your term out.
When you have completed all of the above steps, grab some bourbon and go shooting for critters.
Let boil until the world is in a depression.
In the next few hours the history of the world is about to make a "left" or "right" turn. This will affect our domestic policies as well as other countries. If it goes well - I will let your make your own assumptions on who is right for the job. We could be on track to not only get the S.S. U.S.A. back on the water, but with it the Canadian flotation device.
Homelessness affects us all. Across borders, across oceans. Let us watch and hope that our neighbour today makes the right decision and continues down the path that we all need for a better tomorrow.
Colin
